Remedial Baptistry


© 2001 RGAA London


Is this the real life

Is this just sophistry

Caught in a SLOB group

Still going strong at 10:23

Open your eyes

By means of some strong co-ffee

I’m just a burnt wreck, I need your sympathy

Because I’m knackered now, want to go

Feeling tired, thinking slow

Trying hard to focus what’s the application to me

In verse three


Monday - must start my prep

Read the passage once again

Think of picking up my pen

Monday - there’s some football on

And now the telly’s leading me astray

Telly oo-o-o-oh

Just an hour or two of fun

Then I’ll be more relaxed and really focused

Turn it on! Turn it on! I’ll prep the questions later


Too late the time has come

Sends shivers down my spine

Still don’t understand verse nine

Evening everybody – let’s start in prayer

Is there maybe someone who will volunteer?

Thought not oooh- ()

What a fight this is

I sometimes wish I'd never agreed at all


I heard a rousing little sermon from a man

Was it sound? Was it long? Was there much alliteration?

Full of gags and stories – quite a lot to challenge me

From Isaiah? Jeremiah? Revelation?Lamentations!

Nigel Beynon? Andrew Jones!Or was it someone else again?

We’ll just leave that now – do it during coffee-time

We’ll just leave that now – smother it at coffee-time

Now – let me see – what does ev’ryone else think?

Maybe this, maybe that, could it be a bit

Of both things? No-try looking at the text! Could it be

A penguin? Where do we get that from? Read the text!

An aardvark? What planet are you on? Read the text!

What I like to think…  From the text!

Chapter Seventeen? Oh, what next?!

No no no no no no no

Come on people, work together, get the answer, let me go!

Is donkey right?  Yes, that’s helpful, very good, hooray, hooray, hooray!


After that can I rest as I sit in the SLOB?

No – they want me to work and it’s making me sob

Release us-Can't take more exegesis

Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here


Maher Shalal Hash Baz

What a silly name

I’ll be dafter still – and volunteer to do this next year.